hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
