does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
