***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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