Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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