My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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