Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No subtext here. People are naked.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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