There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm really busy with my period
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