omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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