We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
