I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you win again, gameday.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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