if you like me you must not know who I am
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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