I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
