This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
