I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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