i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Pants are for mortals
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
