I'm so fucking centered right now
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
