My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
