Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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