just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
