***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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