I just pynch a tree in the face
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
