My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
