bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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