Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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