if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
