i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
