You made me cry and you don't even care
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
