Pants 0. Shit 1.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
only if we run a train.
done.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize