Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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