just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
