So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize