honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
