he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
