living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Will exercising make me less horny?
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