'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
