He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
