We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
