Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
