My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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