That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
