My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
