you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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