Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
