She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
