did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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