Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize