and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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