I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
