Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
