i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
