She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
