no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize