People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
