She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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