your room smells of hookers.
And success
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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