everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
