are you so shy because you have an std?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
