my sisters under your porch take her home
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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