How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
