Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize