make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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