i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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