We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
