I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
